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5/11/86-2/12/07 [24 Feb 2007|05:23pm]
Those dates are way too close together. 20 short years. But in 20 years she accomplished so much. And left me with so many memories

marathon games of Monopoly Junior
playing Barbies, dress up, and who knows what else
hide and seek
mining "diamonds" (mica) out of the boulders in the backyard
stomping through the brooks in the woods behind our houses...I expect some of them will never be the same
turning "MONSTER boulders" (ok, even now they seem reasonably big) into club houses
CHO YPS club-spying on our younger sisters
backyard races
family Christmas sleigh rides-burning marshmellows, only half cooking hotdogs, and singing Christmas carols at the top of our lungs...followed by the annual party at one of the family's houses, where we ran around, pigged out, traumatized pets, sang some more, and tried to ignore the fact that most of the parents were getting smashed
all the crazy bus rides
dancing together at my cousins' weddings
this summer's evening of swimming until it was too dark to see followed by loading our ice cream sundaes with way too many jimmies...talking and laughing until we cried
and so so much more
I've known her since birth. Almost all my memories from my first 10 years are with her. I find it kinda ironic that one of the last songs that she, her sisters, my sister and I danced together to at Sam's wedding this summer had a chorus of "We've got to hold on to what we've got". Kinda prophetic in a very scary kind of way. In these last 12 days I'm continuously reminded of my senior quote "Live for today, hope for tomorrow, but always remember yesterday". Cassandra, life goes on, but you'll never be forgotten. Your contagious smile, hearty laugh, and the ability to talk at incredible rates. The years the three of us spent tearing through the neighborhood. There's no way I could forget it.
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Totally random [20 Oct 2006|09:46pm]

LogoThere are:
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

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[27 Aug 2006|06:27pm]
Wow, it's been a long time since I updated
The summer was lame. Had the wisdom teeth out and worked. The job sucked. I never realized how sloppy women can be, until I had to clean 2 foot tall piles of swimsuit pieces out of dressing room stalls. But it's over, at least for a little while. We did take a pretty decent trip to Attitash and Berlin last week. So at least there was some fun this summer. I moved back to school today. We were here about 8:30, and I was completely unpacked and surfing the net by 10:30. Classes start tomorrow. I'm not ready for classes. Looking through my books has me really scared of what this semester holds.
Nothing else is really all that new. Wow, my life is boring
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I'm a copy cat, what can I say? [13 Jul 2006|09:57pm]
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

I miss somebody right now. × I don't watch much TV these days.  (Haha I have watched a rediculous amount of TV this week. Damn rain on my week off) I own lots of books.  (Own, yes. Read much? Not lately)
× I wear glasses or contact lenses.  (No way) × I love to play video games. × I've tried marijuana.
× I've watched porn movies. × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.  (Yup and it's becoming more frequent) I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
it goes on...Collapse )
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[02 Jul 2006|10:29pm]
[ mood | tired ]

So my mom and I nearly got creamed by a Masshole today. We were sitting in the right hand lane at the traffic light just before the exit 1 (101) underpass. We were headed to Hooksett to go grocery shopping. We had a red light and were checking out the shiniest tanker truck ever when we heard it. Screeching tires. Looked around and see a Jeep Liberty with Mass plates completely out of control coming off the off ramp from 101. It jumped the curb nearly landing in the backseat. The moron driving did do an amazing job of not hitting us or the car behind us (it's a miracle that no one was in the left hand lane, since normally people are) before it jumped back over the curb and headed off toward the traffic circle. Mom and I were still shaking walking into Shaws. It was litterally about half an inch from hitting us. We still don't know how he didn't make the turn initially, or how he avoided us. He even managed to land on the curb between those metal posts. But he sure did leave some skid marks.
Now for our only in NH event. Yesterday, mom and I were driving back from downtown Manchester. Heading up the bypass, just barely in Auburn, by the lake and the yacht club. Parked on the side of the road is a farm tractor, with a boat trailor attached. That's right folks, a guy from Auburn (as we found out later from Tom) drives his tractor to the lake when he wants to use his boat.
So that's my weekend in a nutshell. Car rides, tractors and near misses. Oh yeah, did a little shopping, and grammy and grampa arrived today too.

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[01 Jul 2006|01:07pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I just want to go back to school. I want out of this house. I want hockey season to start again. I'm bored. I'm tired. I'm sick of dealing with Tom. I miss being with people
Working at Filenes is a pain. It's not awful, most of the time, but it's still a pain. Not to mention that probably at least half of every pay check will go toward the gas it takes to get over there. How is that worth my time? Oh wait, it's not. I've dealt with some real nightmare customers, including one gem that showed up 2 minutes before the store closed with a transaction she wanted taken care of that took 15 minutes. Then she left muttering how the thirty dollar credit she got was barely worth her time. Cuz you know dealing with her attitude was really a good use of my time...same with punching 32 10 digit numbers into the computer when I could have been on my way home... And while it's "only" a part time job, it's consumed my life, because it leaves me so exhausted that I come home and want to do nothing
To make the working thing even better, mom and Laura passed a cold on to me. Gee aren't they sweet... I feel like crap
So yeah, pretty much this summer thing is overrated, and the professors were smoking something when they told us to enjoy it. Less than two months until I get to move back to Hubbard. While I'm dreading the heat of the dorm, and some of my classes, (and my new RA who looks like a real dope in in her facebook profile), I'm looking forward to hockey season and football, and being surrounded by people other than mom, Tom, Laura and Allison. It'll be wierd, cuz some people will be in different buildings, or on different floors, but at least they'll be on the same campus instead of hours away

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[14 Jun 2006|11:46pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

So I got a job today. And it's one where I wasn't called up and told, "Monday you start working" (gotta love my father...). Course I was called by my mother to go see the daughter of someone she works with, because she might be the connection to a job that I needed. But anywho. I'm hired. Part time, days at Filenes (or Macy's, whatever they're calling that place in the mall these days). Not exactly looking forward to it, but I guess I'll survive somehow. It was wierd; the girl introduced me to her manager, had me fill out an application, the manager sat me down and started asking when I go back to school, when can I start, blah blah blah. No interview or anything. I have training next Friday night and all day Saturday. A heads up to those of you still looking for jobs...Filenes is hiring, and is rather desperate.

Other than that, absolutely nothing is new. Been sitting around the house, watching lots of TV. Actually kind of enjoying it (being lazy that is) but still wishing I was back at school. August 27 still seems so far away. Mom of course, feels that it's far too soon *rolls eyes*

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[02 Jun 2006|04:42am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I cannot believe I'm up at this hour. Especially after going to bed at 10.
Woke up about three. In pain. Took some meds, went over to the window to open it because it was hot in my room, planned on going back to sleep. While at the window I noticed yellow lights revolving on the tree outside it, so obviously I had to check it out because I wasn't completely sure I wasn't hallucinating from all the meds in my system. The pain's all better, but there's a buttload of heavy equipment outside my house. I have yellow lights revolving through my room, and a spot light is shining in. To all those in Auburn, Spofford, near the Audobon corner is gone. As in 6 foot ravine where the road used to be. The heavy equipment is clearing out the ditches and culverts in front of the house. Looks like once again, we got wayyy too much rain. I watched the bulldozer thing for awhile. And all the gravel being dumped. I guess the water's running off of Wildwood and filling up already full ditches. Not to mention I'm sure half my aunt and uncle's driveway is in the ditch (or was in the ditch). And it's still raining. Wahoo. NOT
Mom's staying home again today. Cleanup woke her up, and she went to bed about the same time I did. Not to mention we all know she didn't sleep last night. Should be interesting. She and Tom went outside in their pjs (ok boxers and a t-shirt for Tom) and blasted the guys working, asking if it was an emergency. It's amazing how quick mom's tone changed. Apparently as soon as they told her the road was gone, and would be in more places if they didn't get the ditches cleared out she started offering them coffee and soda. She also called my dad before she went outside (yeah at 3:30 in the morning) to try to find out what was going on before she went outside. Even better she called him back and woke him again once she found out. Uncle Norm was out exploring too. So pretty much the whole neighborhood is awake. Actually, Laura is asleep, but I think she's the only one in the house

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[01 Jun 2006|01:23pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Well I now have 4 new holes in my head. I survived the surgery, the big needle with the anesthesia. Now if only I can survive my mom playing nurse. She's backing off now but when we first got home she wouldn't even let me walk in the house without help, just because that's exactly what they did at the oral surgeon's office. But she's also great about remembering to bring in the ice and come back for it exactly when it needs to go on and off my face. I'll admit, I definitely don't mind that. Getting up makes me kinda lightheaded. Perhaps too many meds in my system? I actually woke up for a minute or two part way through the surgery, but then went back out again. Next thing I knew it was just one nurse in the room with me and she was putting the chair back to normal and pulling off monitors. I must say, I'm glad I'm a "healthy" kid. I was not a fan of all the monitors clipped to me, the oxygen tube, and the IV line in my hand. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that on a regular basis. I'm really really sleepy, but so far haven't been able to fall asleep. So I've just been surfing the internet, and watching all those old reruns on ABC Family. Love Full House, Family Matters, Boy Meets World and Gilmore Girls
Nothing else is really new around here. Job search is going nowhere. I've turned in apps at Aeropostale and American Greeting, so we'll see what happens there

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[23 May 2006|10:43pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Well I've been home for real for just about a week. I have successfully procrastinated the job search even longer. Yes, I'm a terrible person. I've already heard that no need to tell me again...
I miss school. A lot. I miss the people there. I miss not having to deal with Tom and his two year old attitude. I miss being surrounded by people, and not having to deal with the trivial stuff like emptying dishwashers and cleaning bathrooms. I can't wait for August 27, move in day. Scary isn't it? But at the same time I'm so unbelievably tired. I have no desire to do anything (hence the job procrastinating...). I've never been so exhausted in my life (how much you want to bet I wrongly said that a couple years ago on this same site?) I honestly feel like I could sleep for years which definitely does scare me a bit. Ok, it scares me a lot. So while I really couldn't possibly handle anymore schoolwork, I still sort of wish I was still there.
Today was fun though. Started out ugly since I overslept but thankfully made it to the airport in time to meet Mercedes (despite her flight arriving earlier than scheduled). We hung out all day at my house. Good times. Definitely was nice to catch up.
Wisdom teeth come out next Thursday. Wicked scared about it, and totally not looking forward to being completely out of it after all of that. Why oh why do these stupid things have to find their way into my head?

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[04 May 2006|03:34pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I can't believe how close the end of freshman year is. This is insane. I have two classes left to sit through (one tomorrow, one Monday), 1 day of training, 1 final to take, 1 stats assignment, and 1 double spaced 1 page "reflection" paper on my psych presentation between me and being completely done. My final's not till the 17th, so I'll head home Tuesday. It was going to be Monday, but I decided I wanted another day up here with people. I'm completely burnt out from all the work, and exhausted, but I'm sad it's almost over. Things will be so different next year, with friends in different rooms, dorms, and whatnot. Different RA. It'll be wierd. But Connie will be here next year! And this summer is going to suck. I never thought I'd be looking forward to going back to school, but I'm already looking forward to it, even though it's months away.
Speaking of training, yours truly will be a peer mentor for the honors program next year. Should be interesting since I HATE the honors program. But whatever, it should be fun. I'll have 4 or 5 freshmen "mentees". THe other kids that are being mentors seem great; I actually know several of them from my floor and from clases. Training is at the Browne Center this Sunday. I HATE the Browne Center. But the girl that's heading up the mentor program spoke to the leader that will be doing training and we're not doing the high ropes courses, just teambuilding stuff on the ground. So that's good. And that'll only be about 2 hours of the day. The rest of the time will be actual training, and getting our handbooks...one more thing to haul home...woo.

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Obviously I'm procrastinating [17 Apr 2006|06:26pm]
[ mood | tired ]

So I have the rough draft of a 15 page paper due on Thursday. Yeah I'm about 2 1/2 pages into it. But when I actually focus on it it goes pretty fast (I love double spacing, and footnotes). My goal is 6 or 7 pages done tonight. We'll see what happens. To be honest I'm not feeling too good, so I should probably get more than that done in case I'm coming down with whatever cold it appears half this dorm has. You'd think the honors kids would know how not to share their germs...
So this weekend was interesting. Friday afternoon dad called me and told me dinner was PLANNED for a certain time. Now dad may plan what we're eating ahead of time, but he usually doesn't plan a time for eating. And even planning the food ahead is at times a stretch for him. So obviously something was up. Yup, when we got to his house he told us company was coming over. Company turned out to be the person who he swears isn't his girlfriend but we all know she is. Even Amy knows. Jessica was invited to Easter dinner at Amy's with dad. Yeah, nuff said. Did I mention Jessica is at least 20 years younger than dad? Yeah she is. She's also the grand niece of one of the other selectmen in town and daughter of the most prominent developer in town. Way to make life interesting dad... Oh, dinner went fine; I've met Jessica before. She's nice and funny and stuff but still, awkward.
Saturday was girls' day. Mom and Laura and I went to Kohls and Target, and since mom hadn't found anything for either of us for Easter she bought us everything we had picked out while she was off shopping in another area (there were some major sales at Kohls...). I got new capris, another pair of flip flops, and 2 photo albums. Then we went to La Caretta for dinner, then to Stars on Ice (Christmas gift). Stars on Ice was incredible. Absolutely incredible.
Yesterday we had Easter dinner at our house. It was a good time. Paul, Cindy and Allison came over. It was the first time I'd seen Cindy since last Father's day, and the first time I saw Paul and Allison since around New Years. Of course it meant I had to endure all of Uncle Paul's old frat stories and such, but I survived. The food was good too. Pigged out since I knew my diet would start as soon as I returned to the school food, which in true form, is getting worse as the semester progresses. 3 more weeks and I'll have an entire summer of home cooking ahead of me!!! I can't believe I'm that close to the end of the year. Well actually with this mountain of work I've got I guess I can believe it, but I'm amazed how fast this year has gone. I never believed people when they said it would, but it really has. Next year looks like it'll be a good year, and unless I have to sign up for something totally different, I won't have to take any writing intensives next semester for the first time in my college career!!!!! WOOOOT!!!!!! And I really can't wait for hockey season to start again. You guys have no idea...

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[04 Apr 2006|11:31am]
[ mood | tired ]

I really hate rain. I got back from class two hours ago and my sweatshirt is STILL wet. I'm just happy I only had one class today. I have sooo much work to do it's pathetic, and this rain is really killing any motivation I had. I'm so ready for this semester to be over, although I'm not really looking forward to summer. Still haven't found a job (yeah when have I had time to look?). My mom and dad are on two different pages about some money issues too that will sort of determine how much I work (assuming I find a job). I really wish they had discussed all this BEFORE they had kids
This weekend went surprisingly well. Mom, Tom, and dad were in the same room, actually sitting around the same dinner table for several hours with no problems whatsoever. I was impressed. My cousin Joey is absolutely adorable (he's 5). It was nice to be able to get some sleep too, which definitely has not happened since I got back to school

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[30 Mar 2006|09:50am]
[ mood | tired ]

Good news is, I just took my last test of this stats class. Bad news is, after this test (and the last one), not so sure that I'll actually get gen ed credit for the class. Starting to wonder if another stats class lies in my future. Definitely got my ass kicked this morning

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Procrastinating [29 Mar 2006|10:38pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

Stats test at 8 am tomorrow. Yeah, I'm scared. Went to the review session tonight, and I think I'll be ok, but we'll see. And yes the review session was a way of procrastinating
Paper due for that damn INCO at 11 tomorrow. Yeah, I'm almost done but it's a huge load of crap. But judging from the panicked im's I've gotten from others in the class, I'm not alone in that department. And yes, I should be working on it but obviously I'm not.
I have to go home this weekend for grampa russ's 90th birthday. Should be an interesting event. Mom and Tom and everyone have been invited. Interestingly enough, it's dad's dad, and I'm assuming dad has been invited too. Ummm yeah, AWKWARD. Not looking forward to it, but dad says it'll be the last, so mom and I figure I should prolly go. My aunt's coming up from Texas. Havent seen her since the last "near death" experience (grampa's melanoma), so that'll be good to see her again. I have so much work to do though; I don't know how I have time for everything.

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Because we all need a laugh [27 Mar 2006|07:06pm]
Saw this online somewhere and thought it was kind of funny. Since we're all stressed with our various college things, and I think it's all girls reading this, I figured it could provide a laugh.

Why Men Pee Standing Up
God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve.

He thought He might just as well ask them. He told them one of the things He had left was a thing-a-mabob that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it?"

Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy.

Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it.

So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up. Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place—first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away—laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left."

"What's it called?" asked Eve.

"Brains," said God.
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Is it over yet? [22 Mar 2006|12:51pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

I want this week over. I want my sister to get a clue, and start talking to both my mom and me again. I know it's killing mom, and it's bothering me too. Uncle Herman is having his surgery today. I hope it goes alright and they don't find anymore problems. I want (ok NEED) sleep. I've tossed and turned every night this week. I can hardly keep my eyes open anymore. Speaking of eyes, one of mine feels like someone punched me. Last I checked I didn't get in a fight. So what's up with that?
Next semester's classes are going to suck, hardcore. I have two required classes for my major (one of which is anatomy and physiology of the speech and hearing mechanisms...EEEEK), and have to knock off two more gen eds. I also have to work honors classes in. Lemme tell you, this honors program thing is crap. So it looks like I'll be taking honors survery of music history (yeah I'm snoring already). Also have to get a foreign culture class out of the way, so that'll probably be spanish civilization and culture. YUCK. The other required class for my major is clinical phonetics which will be hard, but it'll be better than the other stuff. I may have to add an honors designation to one of those major classes too. Ughhh.
Probably should go work on the 90 or so pages of reading I still have to finish. Then I have to write a 1 page paper on it. The book? When Abortion Was a Crime. Yeah, it's a blast
Yeah, not a good week

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Can I go home yet? [20 Mar 2006|10:24am]
[ mood | tired ]

So we have no heat, and all the sinks in our bathroom aren't draining. I got 6 hours of sleep despite going to bed at 10. Yeah I love it when I dont fall asleep until 1. I don't feel well either. It's such a freaking Monday. One of the other dorms in the area has no water, so I can't help but wonder if we might have that problem too. I haven't tried using any water since about 2 hours ago.

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[18 Mar 2006|09:01pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I'm so confused about everything right now. Tonight's my last night home for spring break. It definitely hasn't been the week I hoped for. My life revolved around my father for the week. Definitely not happy about that. I think I'm more tired tonight than I was when I came home a week ago. How is that possible? I'm really dreading going back. I've got way too much work to do between now and the end of the semester. Not gonna lie, I'm pretty scared about it. I'm really going to miss hockey season too.
Things on the home front aren't exactly wonderful either. Obviously my father is up to his usual. So's Tom. Mom seems so unhappy, and I hate leaving her when she's like this. My uncle is having surgery on Wednesday for cancer; I don't know whether this is considered his second or third time with it, since I get third hand information, and it's assumed to be a metastasis (or however u spell it) and I dont exactly understand that whole thing, but what I do know is that it's too much for an 80 something year old to deal with. Dad doesn't expect grampa russ to live much longer, which is a shock, because usually he's denying Amy's claims that grampa's gonna die anyday. He thinks grampa will see his 90th birthday (april 1), but is not sure how much longer after that. The aunt is coming from Texas, and the last time she came up was when Grampa had cancer in 2003. So needless to say things are not so wonderful around here. Laura's being a little shit head, treating me like crap. Part of me is ready to escape by going back to school; the other doesn't know which is worse: the workload or the homefront

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[15 Mar 2006|10:07pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Well my dad's officially a selectman. He won by about 100 points. Not bad considering he was one of three candidates and only about 700 people voted. Now that number is sad since there are roughly 3450 registered voters in town. Speaking of that number...lets talk about the biggest piece of crap that this town is still trying to pass. There are 3450 registered voters in a town of maybe 4500. Probably not everyone that's 18 or older is registered (hey I wasn't until yesterday...) That doesn't leave a whole heck of a lot of elementary and middle school aged children in this town. Growth is really slow here too. So why the heck are they trying to build a new school?! There are less kids in the school now than there were when we all graduated from there. Yeah makes no sense here either. My stepsister's average class size is 22. Something is very very wrong with that. If the UNH hockey game weren't on that night I might just go to the school district meeting and vote NO to this latest load of crap. But hockey is still most important. After all, I don't pay property taxes here ;)

So off my soap box now. This whole campaign thing was wierd. I got home to find an article on the front page of the Nutfield News, a two page ad in the Crier, and signs all over town to vote "Rusty Sullivan for selectman". Yesterday I had to stand next to him at the school to smile and show family involvement in the campaign, at the busy times. Between busy times I ran errands for him. Yeah, that was fun... Today I was at his office from 10:30ish till 4:30ish, sorting, photocopying, and organizing his receipts from the last 8 months. Tomorrow I have to go back until I have to pick up Laura. Then we both have to go get our hair cut. Even with 3 or 4 hours there tomorrow I probably still won't get through all of that pile. And he wants me to look for a summer job when?

Not really looking forward to going back to school on Sunday. I have so much work ahead of me from now until the end of the semester, and virtually no breaks. I'll probably be home again twice before I come home for good on May 8, but one of those will be for grampa Russ's 90th birthday (yes I have VERY old grandparents) and the other will be for Stars on Ice and Easter. It's wierd to think how close the end of the year is. I'm also really bummed that hockey season is over. There arent really any good movies that will be shown at the mub the rest of the semester either. But whatever, I'll survive.

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